I’m not exactly sure where to start this so let’s start here: WHY?! What have I done? Who have I angered to make this happen? Okay, so I’m not a great person. I screen my phone calls, I don’t donate blood as often as I should, (O Negative, baby. Universal donor. Liquid gold.) and sometimes I take the bus only a few blocks because I have a free bus pass. But, really? This is what has to happen to me? I didn’t punch any kittens!